So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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