we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
