Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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