ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
