I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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