Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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