i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
