Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
