Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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