end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
sarcasm needs its own font
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Randomize
