Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
we're so committed to being not committed
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
