i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
