Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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