theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
