I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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