sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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