I wanna passion pit in your ass
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
