remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
