I showed him my bush... on skype.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
