omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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