STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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