You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
