last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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