If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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