then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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