You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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