just tell him i said nine months
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
