Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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