I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
