I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
