I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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