My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
