I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
