Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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