WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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