Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
