im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My vagina is very pro this idea
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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