she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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