She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
