In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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