it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
