Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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