So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
