if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
