It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
