when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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