new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
