I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Terrible idea I love it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
