"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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