I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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