Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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