I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
