The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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