Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
