Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
