im six kinds of drunk right now
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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