I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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