Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
