i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
