honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
