I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
